The Fat Cat

Oh fat cat, why are you so filthy? I mean, really! You may be sweet, but you are smelly, greasy, and filthy. You have poo on your former 'man parts', and i find that very horrifying! Every time someone touches you, you start bathing your paws like there's no tomorrow. To add to that, your breath smells awful. It smells just as bad as your butt hole. AND when i pet you, your back is filled with small bumps which, apparently are very itchy. Also, when i scratch you, your nasty skin (which lacks proper bathing) makes my fingers greasy! Next, you smell like cheese. I love to kiss you, but that stench is what keeps me away! You are such a STUPID STINKY FAT CAT! Oh, by the way, i am kidding. I wuv you fa-fat.


Oh fat cat, why are you so sweet? I mean, You may be filthy, but you are cuddly, soft, and fateeshis! You butt me on the head for no reason at times, and that is so sweet!!! When i sit on the stairs, you are kind enough to wake up and come fat all over me! When i am on the computer, you hop up next to me and if i ignore you, you tap my arm with your fat-paw. This one gets on my nerves, but it's so sweet:
When you are awake, prowling your grounds and searching for food, you come to find me and sit on my lap. It's so sweet but you do it EVERY time I sit down.


Sweetie Fat-Fat.